


Short little drabbles

by fukmylyf (orphan_account)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abuse, Blood, Cannibalism, Drabbles, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Gen, Gore, Honestly a lot of this could be potentially triggering to people and i don't even know what to tag, Lot's of implied things, M/M, Mental Asylums, Multi, Non-Sexual Bondage, Other, Pedophillia, Proposals, Rape, Really short stuff in general, Sadstuck, Song fics, These aren't in order, Trauma, War AU, break-ups, dying, im not too sure, or something, still plenty of fluff, there is fluff tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-30
Updated: 2015-07-28
Packaged: 2018-01-03 01:17:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 17
Words: 8,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1063956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/fukmylyf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yeah, imma just post short things here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Jade/Karkat, Game Over

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooo i haven't really updated here a lot, but this is pretty much just to prove i haven't died yet.

It wasn’t supposed to end this way. They were supposed to win the game, to build a new world, to finally belong _somewhere_ instead of floating around in the dark abysses of space.  
Karkat was lying face down on the black and white ground of Skaia, bright cherry red blood pooling around him. He groaned as he tried to pull himself up, but his gashed arms crumpled beneath his weight. Why was this happening? They had overcome every obstacle the game had put in their way, but still fate had placed them there, on the battlefield, to fight one last time, knowing that they wouldn’t win, not this time.  
He opened his mouth and screamed for all he was worth.  
~  
Jade had managed to drag herself to her feet, and was stumbling around aimlessly when she heard the scream. She clasped her hands over her dog ears, but the sound was stained on her memory, a scream of sorrow, of self-hatred, of pure loathing. She tried to track it, but there was blood everywhere and the horrifying smell was clogging up her sensitive nostrils and everyone was missing, and why were they missing, why did they leave her alone to fend for herself, _why wasn’t she sure where she was, why wouldn’t the screaming stop?_  
Jade closed her mouth, with the sudden realization that it was her own screaming she was hearing. She wiped the tears from her eyes and stumbled further, determined to get somewhere on the doomed blood-stained planet. She followed the general direction of the screams that weren’t hers, but the one’s that she had heard earlier.  
The sight she came upon was one she wanted to erase from her memory.  
~  
Karkat was lying in the middle of his group of friends, crying his eyes out and screaming. His throat felt raw and he could barely breathe, but he couldn’t stop screaming. He _wouldn’t_ stop screaming.  
Jade froze at the sight, and her legs crumpled beneath her. She didn’t want to move but she pulled herself towards Karkat, trying desperately to avoid the dead, cold eyes surrounding him. She touched his arm and he looked up, his eyes wide with fright and wet with tears. She pulled him up and into her arms and he hugged her back.  
They sat there for a while, not quite able to do much more than cling onto each other.  
“I’m sorry,” Karkat gasped put between sobs.  
Jade shook her head. “Not your fault,” she replied, similarly breathless, but with a small smile on her lips.  
Karkat smiled sadly back at her, and then collapsed against her with exhaustion. He stroked her back softly, and allowed her to lean into him, the two exhausted and blood covered survivors supporting each other with nothing but their beaten and wind-blown bodies. Jade fell asleep first, her narcolepsy getting the better of her. Karkat sighed his last before joining her in endless slumber.


	2. Rose/Karkat, Pity Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was listening to Placebo and this kinda just popped into my mind

Karkat, you find, is sitting by himself, staring at the ceiling, the bags under his eyes obvious. He looks pathetic and uneasy, all by himself, his awkward limbs wrapped around his small torso, a book lying forgotten by his side. One of yours, you realize with a small, quick smile.  
  
"I rather thought you'd enjoy that one," you say, picking it up and sitting in its place. Karkat glares at you, but the sting has been replaced with pure exhaustion.  
  
"Alternian literature is far better," he replies. "That book wasn't so bad, but... um." His face flushes a little.  
  
"I'm honestly dissappointed, Karkat. 50 Shades of Grey is a brilliantly written novel, up to par with many of your Alternian novels."  
  
"No way. My books are better."  
  
"You keep telling yourself that, Karkat dear."  
  
"Don't call me that. And also, don't forget, we created your culture."  
  
"Don't call you what, dear?" you say, a sickly sweet smile on your face. Karkat grimaces.  
  
"Fuck off, Lalonde."  
  
"Honestly, Karkat, I thought you'd be more subtle," you tease, mocking surprise with a hand placed in front of your mouth daintily.

Karkat simply flips you off, face flushing a brilliant scarlet. He gets up and makes to walk away, but you grab his wrist.

"You're not going to leave me hanging now, are you?" you ask gently, tugging on his wrist. He turns to you, his face still flushed.

"Stop shitting with me, Lalonde," he tells you, glaring. Now, finally, is there at least something behind that glare. And it isn't exhaustion. Unless you're very much mistaken, it almost looks like... endearment. Wow. You tug his wrist a little harder, reaching with your other hand to pat the space next to you, previously occupied by his oh so warm body. He sighs, and sits.

"Fine, what do you want?"

You very, very carefully reach up and tangle your fingers in his hair.

"Karkat, it is impossibly easy to pity you," you say softly. He freezes.

"W-what. Please tell me you're not messing with my head again."

"You know," you reply, your fingers brushing against the red-stained keratin at the base of his horns ",that's the most I've heard you say without swearing. Congratulations. You should get a reward for that."

" _Rose_ ," he says, shivering slightly from the contact with his horns. That's a first. He called you by your name, instead of your surname. You can't help yourself; you sigh and shake your head.

"I'm not messing with you," you reply, trying to make yourself sound as honest as possible.

Karkat stares at you in disbelief. He opens his mouth to say something, but you place a finger to his lips before he can get anything out. He reaches up and grasps the hand, bringing it down whilst twining his fingers with yours.

"I don't believe you."

"Will you ever? Sweetheart, I think it would take a bulldozer to get anything resembling belief through that thick head of yours."

You untangle your hand from his mane of locks and bring it to his face. He's blushing harder now, hard enough to make you wonder if there's any blood flowing anywhere else in his body, since it all seems to have favored his cheeks. You place your hand on one hot, bright red cheek, tilting his head up ever so slightly. He avoids your gaze avidly, squirming a little.

"Karkat," you say softly. He glances up at you with his too big grey eyes, yellow sclera seeming to glow even in the shadow of his thick eyebrows. His nose is far too large for his face, his forehead sticks out a bit. His black lips have small scars on them, evidence of his habit of gnawing on them. His cheeks, bright red beacons, are smooth, curved, slightly chubby. Nothing about him is remotely attractive, but he's still attractive in his own right. You suppose he's cute the way naked molerats are cute; they're hideous to the extent that it comes back round to being cute again.

You touch your lips to his, closing your eyes. He gasps, a precious little sound that you want to bottle up and treasure forever. And then he's kissing you back. You smile against his lips, pushing him back a little. Karkat growls, a small throaty sound, and then he's straddling you, his arms around you neck, his legs on either side of yours.

"Hey Rosy, can you help me with something? I forgot the code for... uh."

You and Karkat break away from eachother for a moment, your hands on his hips, one of them copping his butt lightly.

"Dave, if you don't mind, I'm ever so slightly busy at the moment," you tell him, smiling sweetly. Karkat is staring daggers at him, his arms wrapping around you all the more possessively.

"Yeah, I think I'll just... uh... leave you two alone." And with that he's gone, flashstepping to whereever.

"Fucking bulgewhiff," Karkat mutters, turning back to you, his forehead pressed against yours.

"At least you're not related to him."

"Almost makes me pity you."

"You don't?" You have to admit you're intrigued.

Karkat flushes. "W-well, how am I supposed to pity _you_? You're Rose fucking Lalonde. No, I... I, uh..."

"You?"

"Iloveyou," he says in a small voice, his words mushing together in a jumble.

"I love you, too, Karkitty," you whisper, winking at him. He scowls at you at that and gets up, storming off. This time, though, you let him. He'll be back in no time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> creative crit appreciated!!


	3. Dave/Karkat, Bad dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like writing gore.

The crowds are cheering, cat-calling, shouting angry retorts. You’re scared, there’s so much noise, so much action, and at the center of it all, you. The trolls whirl around you, massive, menacing, snarling or laughing at your pain, your anguish.

A lash against your back, you scream arching away from it. Something sharp streaks against your front and you thrash, but you can’t move, you’re trapped, you’re stuck, you’re _going to die._ Suddenly the crowd steps back, still snarling at you, still laughing at you, at your mutant blood, the red that is dripping in your eyes and is making your body feel heavy and sticky. A figure emerges from them, separating herself from them.

She’s a lower blood caste than many of the sneering bastards behind her, but the way she walks, her head high, her back straight, cane tucked under her arm _just_ so. She’s beautiful, dangerous, and something tells you she’s the reason you’re here, arms shackled above your head. She looks down at you and lashes out with her cane, knocking you off your feet. Your knees don’t quite hit the ground, hovering a good couple inches above it.

“Mutant,” she growls, and you wince, glancing up. She grabs your chin and snarls in your face, your tear-streaked filthy face. You still can’t see her with anything other than pure unadulterated pity, and you wish the expression on your face would reflect back on hers. It doesn’t. Instead she snarls “pathetic,” dropping your chin and marching off.

Next comes a tall lanky juggalo, his colorful striped juggling pins twisting artfully in his hands. He gives you a glance before raising a bat and smacking you across the head, making your vision swim. You see a broken piece of orange-y yellow keratin on the floor and recognize it as part of your horn. Another hit lands and you feel yourself drifting out of consciousness.

A sudden burst of heat, red, hot, burning heat on your back, snapping you back into consciousness. Cool fingers trace the mark, and you realize it wasn’t heat, it was simply pain. A lot of pain. Your whole back feels like it’s been shredded. Then you register a loud whirr, and again, red hot fury on your back. It stops, and cool fingers once more gently trace patterns on your back. And then they leave.

You look around you. In a circle, eleven people around you, eleven people you cared about. Maybe you cared too much, maybe too little. You deserve this anyhow. These lacerations they give you, the words they throw at you, or the words they don’t. The caresses they give you, even those are menacing.

And suddenly they’re not. Someone is holding you close, petting your hair, whispering into your ear.

“Shh, Karkat, calm down,” he whispers, in his stupid human voice, with his stupid accent. You close your eyes, squeeze them shut, and he just carries on holding you, touching you, _wanting_ you. He shakes you lightly and you wake up.

“Dave?”

“Yeah, babe, I’m here.”

You close your eyes again, your fingers twining into his shirt, never wanting to let go. Because for once in your pathetic life, somebody wants you.

Somebody actually _cares_.


	4. Kankri+Karkat, No Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i thought the homestuck antiupdate would be a good excuse to update some drabbles. to anyone keeping up on my other fics, i'm almost done with the 4th and final chapter of Be My Knight. so yeah. i'm more active artsing on my tumblr, particularCriticular. so theres that. yeh.

You watch your dancestor as he flits around the room, desperate for escape, slamming himself against the door, yelling as loud as he can through the crack beneath it.

You choose to sit and watch. You watch as he exhausts himself. You sit against the farthest wall and accept the one fact Karkat refuses to. 

You are well and truly trapped.

“Kankri, you bulgemunch! Help me! Maybe if you give me a boost we can reach the window, break it and get out of here!” He’s yelling, he’s desperate and you’re pretty sure you heard his voice crack.

“Karkat, the window is barred,” you reply, giving him a bored look. He glares into your dead, white eyes, but doesn’t do anything. 

“Kankri. Fucking. Vantas. We are going to die. If you do not. Help. Me. Get. The _Fuck._ Out of here!”

“Stop talking in broken sentences. It’s incredibly frustrating.”

“Kankri! If we stay here, they’re going to kill us over and over and over again!”

You cock an eyebrow at him.

“Karkat, I have long since stopped caring about living.”

“Well maybe you have, but I don’t want to die,” he says, and his voice grows softer towards the end of the sentence. He walks over to you and slumps down a good meter away from you, arms wrapped around his legs. He buries his face in his knees and groans.

At least, you hope it’s a groan. 

“Karkat? Are you quite alright?”

“No, shit-for-brains, I am not alright.” He doesn’t lift his head as he says it, and you can barely make out the muffled words. You scoot a little closer to him, and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Karkat. Somebody’s bound to come look for us sooner or later. We’ll be out of here before you know it.”

“If they were looking, don’t you think they’d have found us already? Besides, we’re in a Dersite prison cell. We’ll be dead before they even realize we’re gone.”

You pull him towards you, wrapping your arms around his small body. “Shh, Karkat, you’ll be fine. You’re strong, you’ll survive.”

“I’m not worried about _me_ , nooklick,” he murmurs, his arms wrapping around you in return. “I know I’ll be ok, but you grew up on a planet where you didn’t have pain. Not like this.”

You tilt his head up and look him directly in the eyes.

“In that case, then, I’m counting on you to save me.”

 


	5. Dave/Terezi, Lights Out

Terezi is patting your head softly, crooning in your ear.

“Shh, my poor baby,” she’s whispering. What the hell is going on?

“Yo ‘Rezi, what are you doing?” you mumble, trying to sit up. 

“Shoosh, don’t move,” she mumbles. “Dave, moving would be a very bad idea right now.”

“Why?” you hiss, glaring at her through your shades. She can’t see it anyways, but if you try hard enough maybe she’ll feel it.  

“Gamzee and Karkat have gone kinda feral,” she smiles. That isn’t a reassuring smile. Fuck.

“What do you mean, feral?” 

“Let’s just say, Gamzee’s got hold of Karkat’s mind, and is using him to track us down. They found you, but I saved you before they could drag you off and kill you or something,” she tells you, grinning in a maniacally tragic way you know she does when she’s upset but doesn’t want to show it. 

“It’s worse than that, isn’t it?” you ask, watching her guardedly. 

“Well…” she says softly, carding her fingers. “They sort of got us both. Almost killed us really.”

“And where are they?” 

Terezi just nods at the door. You hear someone scream and shit, _shit,_ you hope to all gods that that wasn’t Rose. Or Kanaya, goddamnit. Someone runs at the door and slams against. “Please, please, let me in, let me _in!”_

Terezi stands up slowly, letting your head drop softly onto the floor. She cautiously steps over to the door, sword in one hand. 

She puts a hand on the door, the other holding the sword out so she can easily attack anybody on the other side. She’s about the pull the door open when it flies off its hinges, throwing her back. She hits the wall on the other side of the room, the door dropping just short of you.

Where the door used to be, you can see Gamzee’s massive silhouette, a frightening amount of jade and red blood dripping from the clubs he holds to his sides. 

“ _Shit_ ,” you hiss, unable to move. Fuck, Terezi was right, they got you and _you can’t move your fucking arms._ You try to get your legs under you, but it’s difficult to stand up without your arms to help you.

“Need a little assistance, brother?” Gamzee asks, in his disturbingly soft voice. If you were completely honest, you preferred it when he shouted.

Another silhouette appears behind him, shorter. Karkat. Shit, shit, fuck, you need to get to Terezi and help her, protect her. Gamzee must notice how your scrabbling feet get a little more distressed, moving faster in your attempts to stand the _fuck_ up. What the fuck. Why are your legs not working. He walks over and stands above you, grinning like a fucking maniac. He grabs your feet, crushing the bones in your ankles as if they were made of Doritos or something. You’re screaming, you realize belatedly. 

“Hey, dearest, come here and SEE THESE RIGHTEOUS MIRACLES THIS MOTHERFUCKER has hidden under his shades.”

Karkat walks over as if in a stupor. You glance up and notice his mouth has been cut to make it look like he’s smiling and then stitched shut. The result is frightening and disconcerting and you feel like you walked into a real life horror movie. 

“Take them out for me, BROTHER DEAREST.” 

You can’t move, you can’t escape, and Karkat crouches next to you. For a second, the purple glaze over his eyes vanishes and he looks absolutely horrified at what he’s about to do, what he’s already done. Then it’s back and he reaches a hand out and rips out your eye.


	6. Jade, Alone

You’re all alone on your island. 

You’re all alone in your massive house. 

Your dog is rarely around during the day. 

You’re so very, very alone.

Well, except for the ghosts. The skeletons in the closet. The monsters in the basement. 

You walk down the hall and make your way downstairs. A ghostly girl materializes at the base of the stairs and raises one hand to wave at you. She vanishes before you can ask her who she is.

You see her again. She’s always there, her curly black hair falling down to her knees, her torn skirt, torn shirt. Her blank white eyes, her dark red lips. The orange ram horns that curve out of her skull. Initially, you thought her skin was grey because of death. You later realized it was naturally grey. 

Your sneakers pad softly against the carpet as you enter the living room. You barely give the stuffed corpse in the corner of the room a glance. Instead, you examine the boy poking the embers in the fireplace. He probably doesn’t realize you’re in the room with him.

“Hi,” you say, your usual optimistic tone failing you. The boy starts, getting up in a hurry. Bits of his face are falling off, his robotic legs having long since replaced the ones lost to necrosis. 

“Uh, h-hi. H-how, uh, how are you?” he says softly, unsure. He reaches a hand up to tug at a large bull horn, orange, like the ghost girl by the stairs. There’s 11 of these aliens, you’ve discovered. At least, you’ve only found eleven. They say there’s one more, by the sea. You’ve always wanted to meet this last troll, but it was never the right time. 

You decide not to answer Tavros and walk away, ignoring him. You couldn’t find it in you to care that what you had just done was incredibly rude. Today, today is the day you go out. 

You haven’t left the house in a month.

Your first steps outside reveal that it’s nighttime.

“Bec! Bec, where are you?” 

Becquerel appears in a flash of green light next to you, nuzzling you affectionately. You pet his head, scratching his ears in the way you know he likes. 

“Bec, we’re going to meet Feferi! You remember, don’t you? Karkat and Eridan told us about her!” You try your hardest to keep your voice bubbly and happy.

Karkat told you to avoid her at all costs. Eridan told you she was beautiful.

You hadn’t seen Karkat in a while. Eridan, on the other hand, never left you alone, drifting into your room, late at night when you were asleep, whining about his problems, his failed relationships. 

You take the shortcut to the beach. Bec pads along beside you excitedly, but the minute you lay foot on sand, he whimpers and tugs on your skirt, trying to get you to turn around, go back with him. You shake him off and walk towards the beach, trying to shake your fears off as well. 

You stand by the water edge, and take a deep breath.

“Feferi?” you call, your voice nearly silent against the roaring of the ocean. Something a couple hundred meters out moves. It looks like a tentacle. A large, pink tentacle.

Ok, that’s slightly weird, but it couldn’t possibly be as weird as Sollux’s two halves, or Karkat’s blood weapons, or Nepeta’s cat… features.

Or Gamzee’s just general, Gamzee-ness.

Then another tentacle emerges, this time closer, and another one follows, and it looks like it’s creeping up onto the shore. Well, ok then. The mass of tentacles keeps pulling and when it’s close enough, you can tell they’re holding someone inside of them. 

“Feferi?” you call again. The mass of tentacles falls into the water with a splash, and the troll who was sitting inside the tentacle balloon is finally visible. Except, the tentacles seem to be part of her, sprouting out from her waist where legs would normally be. Well, normally save for Feferi and Nepeta, apparently. 

“Hi!” she greets, grinning broadly with a mouth full of shark teeth. Meh, not as intimidating as Terezi. 

“Hi,” you reply, equally enthusiastic.

“Sorry I can’t come out of the water entirely,” she says, smiling sheepishly. “My tentacles would dry up.”

“Yeah…” you reply, not quite sure what to say in response. “I’m Jade! I live here!”

“You do? You don’t seem like the kind of person to belong in an… asylum,” she says, rolling the last word on her tongue as if it doesn’t sound quite right. 

“This isn’t an “asylum” anymore. That program was shut down ages ago, when they found out that the doctors were testing on all of you.” You shrug. “My grandpa bought the island, but he died a year later. I’ve been living here since.”

“How did he die?” she asks. “Oh my glub, that’s probably incredibly insensifish!”

She sits and contemplates what she just said. “Oops, I meant insensitive! Hehe!”

You just smile, sitting down on the sand. “No, it’s ok! I think puns are cute!”

Feferi blushes. “Heehee, thanks!”

“And about the question regarding my grandpa, it was an accident involving Tavros. He panicked and tried to shoot poor Tavvy, and Tavros tried to stop him by getting Becquerel, my dog, to teleport the gun away, but all that happened was the gun was spun around and my grandpa shot himself.”

You’re surprised at how casually you managed to say that, and decide you need to find some more _normal_ company.

From the look on Feferi’s face she seems to agree. 

“Sooooo, water you doing here then?” you ask, grinning.

Feferi giggles and splashes the water a bit with her tentacles. You want to be out there in the water, playing with her. You’re a pretty strong swimmer if you dare say so yourself, and you would love to splash with her. She seems to be the most normal person on this entire island, you included. 

Next time, you’re going to make sure to pack a swimsuit.


	7. Rose and Gamzee, Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I recommend listening to Blood by My Chemical Romance when reading this. It just really fits the atmosphere.

_Drip._

_Drip._

_Drip._

You open your eyes to relative darkness.

_Drip._

_Drip._

_Drip._

It doesn’t bother you. After all, the darkness is your home. 

You stand up and stretch your arms out, letting them drop once you hear them crack.

“Good morning, Kanaya,” you whisper, touching the face of your beloved from where she hangs upside-down, suspended by a few strands of her own intestines. 

Something grabs at your leg. A small grey hand. You kick it away. “Not now, Karkat, I need something to eat,” you tell him simply. The hand curls into a fist, but doesn’t do anything. It’s not like he can, what with the rest of him being tied to the bottom of the large table you’re using for your “experiments.”

“Morning, sister,” you hear someone say. Ah, your trusted assistant.

“Hello, Gamzee. I trust you slept well.”

He just smiles, squatting next to you to pat at his moirails face. 

“Hey, best friend,” you hear him say. You glance down to watch him trace a finger along Karkat’s stitched up lips, humming in thought. Karkat sobs, but doesn’t move away, to frightened to even struggle. Gamzee kisses one of Karkat’s fingers, one of only 3 left. Karkat screams, or tries to, as Gamzee takes the small finger into his mouth and bites it off. He get’s up and turns away.

“I have some _business_ to attend to, sister. I’ll see you around,” he says, fighting to keep his voice quiet. 

“I suppose I’ll see you then.”

He grins at Karkat and spits the chewed up finger in front of him. You consider berating him on his awful table manners, but you decide against it. It’s not as if you’re any better, if the large bloody mess on the counter that _was_ your brother is any indication. 

Well, you’ve been planning on trying troll, so you suppose you’ll prepare Kanaya now. 

You throw Dave under the table, and Karkat screams yet again.


	8. Eridan, New Alternia Psychiatric Ward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is disturbing as fuck (as if the last ones weren't) but i find this one disturbing in particular. Probably because it's based on the actual treatment of patients in mental wards. I wanted to write a whole chapter fic with this idea, but i gave up. If you want to expand on this, go ahead. But yeah...
> 
> READ THE TAGS
> 
> YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

It’s high time you checked on your patients, you think to yourself. You’ve been neglecting most of the loonier ones, but you work in a mental institute, you really shouldn’t call out differences in your patients mental health.

You open your door, the sign on the glass reading:

**Dr. Eridan Ampora, PhD**

**Child Psychiatrist**

 

You love the professional sound of that.

Right, to your patients. You walk all the way down to the basement, where your more… _violent_ patients are kept. You can hear the only one down here now, yanking and writhing against his shackles, screaming. 

“Now, Kar, w-we w-wouldn’t w-want ta hafta sedate you or somethin again, now w-would w-we?”

“FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING PSYCHO!” he yells, still struggling. He’s been down here alone for weeks; it’s a wonder he hasn’t learned his lesson. 

“Kar, I w-warned ya about that kinda language.”

“I don’t give a _fuck_ , Ampora,” he hisses, stilling for just a moment. 

“They been feeding ya?” you ask, deciding that you don’t want to engage him for too long, considering how much of a dick he’s being. 

“Yes,” he seethes. 

You rake your eyes over his naked body. _He’s a very attractive boy_ , you think. Nobody cares about any of these kids anyways, and if you were to… 

The thoughts you’re having are simply unprofessional, and now is not the time. Maybe later you’ll act on them. 

Perhaps he’ll finally learn his place.

You walk away, shutting and locking the door behind you.

“Doctor Ampora,” Karkat groans from the room. 

“Yes?”

“I need to piss.”

You pause, wondering how you’ll handle this.

“So piss,” you reply, walking off. 

You ignore his yells and screams and the sounds of the shackles clanking against the cement walls.

Next patient, a favorite of yours. She’s incredibly obedient, very sweet and very good looking. She came from a rich family, and they paid you _very_ well to keep her. That’s of course what you’ve been doing. 

“Hey Fef,” you say, grinning. Feferi looks up at you and forces a smile on her face, despite the fear in her eyes. There’s a bruise on her cheek from the last time she disobeyed you. Those moments are few and far between though, so she’s in a far better state than your other patients.

“Hi Doctor Ampora,” she says softly, her voice carrying the words like the songs of the sea.

You give her a very pointed once over. She’s got beautiful, thick, long, wavy black hair, and her lips are perfectly plump. She’s already got a wonderful body, all curves.

“W-We haven’t had a private session in a w-while,” you murmur contemplatively. 

“Th-three days, Doctor Ampora,” she tells you.

“W-what did I tell you about stutterin, gill?” you growl.

“Sorry, Doctor Ampora,” she mutters. “Let me make it up to you.”

You grin as she reluctantly opens her legs. 

After your very pleasing session with Feferi, you move onto your other patients.

Aradia has gotten into another fight with your security guard, Vriska, and you can’t say you feel any regret when you pull her down the flights of steps to the solitary confinement chamber. 

Sollux, the maintenance guy, get’s into another argument with you about your treatment of Feferi, Aradia and Karkat, but you do as you usually do, waving your PhD in his face.

Nepeta and Equius, the orphaned siblings, are doing fantastically, keeping their heads low, their voices quiet. You haven’t had a reason to punish them recently, although the glare Nepeta is shooting your way may lead to another beating. Or perhaps a night away from her older brother. Yes, you think you’ll arrange that with Terezi. 

You’ve been meaning to stick your subordinate with a task she’d find upsetting, and considering the bond she’s formed with Nepeta, you know she’ll hate this one. It’ll teach her a lesson about standing up to you.

When you check on Tavros, he’s got a new batch of bruises blooming all over. If you had to guess, Vriska probably paid him another visit yesterday. Not that you care. You shut the door and keep walking.

Time to pay a visit to your most dangerous patient.

Gamzee is still strapped to the electric chair, you note, glancing at him through the bars in the door. Kanaya is sleeping, head lolled to the side. You suspect it was a very long night.

Gamzee sees you through the bars and screams, demanding to see Karkat. If he strains any harder against the worn leather bands holding him down, he might break them. 

And that just wouldn’t _do._

You pick up the remote from where Kanaya dropped it when she nodded off and flick the switch. Gamzee twitches and spazzes, spittle flying from his mouth. He glares at you afterwards, but doesn’t say anything. 

You’ve finished checking up on your patients. You give Kanaya a rough shove to wake her, and she takes the remote back, murmuring an apology for all the trouble she caused you.

You ignore her and return to your office. Your asylum is running perfectly, and you’re expecting new patients.


	9. Vriska/Karkat, Highway To Hell ~ ACDC

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> woo here come the song fics

You stick your head out of the car window, letting the breeze ruffle your long brown hair. 

“Serket, get your fucking head in the car before I _purposely_ ram into a telephone pole and take it off,” your charming boyfriend tells you, glaring at you. You smile sweetly.

“Oo, Karkles, you’re such a charmer. Really know how to show the girls a great time, don’t you?” you croon. He rolls his eyes and focuses on the road again. You reach over and cuddle him and he tries to elbow you off.

Aren’t you a pair, you think to yourself. Two runaways on a road trip to wherever, breaking the law every chance you get. You don’t wanna trade this life for anything.

Karkat perks up at the sounds of a police cruiser behind you. He turns to you, grinning. You nod.

“Floor it.”

 


	10. Sollux/Feferi, Eridan/Feferi, Two Princes ~ Spin Doctors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i cant write any of these characters

Feferi stares at the two of you. Eridan looks hopeful, kneeling with a fancy shiny ring in a plush box. You’re kneeling next to him with a cheap box with a cheap plastic ring in it because you couldn’t afford anything better. 

“Eridan… Sollux… what,” she mumbles. She looks slightly scared and doesn’t look at all comfortable. So you do the smart thing and just get up.

And sigh. Loud and irritated.

“FF, it wath going to happen eventually,” you tell her, bluntly. “Both of uth have been pining after you for yearth.”

Eridan gets up as well, dusting his trousers. Asshole, you think as he straightens his tie. 

“W-whale, Fef, you gotta choose between us. I’d say I w-was the better choice. Ya can move in w-with me an I’ll get ya w-whatever ya w-want.”

You just stare at him. Feferi looks like she’s torn between you two, so you reach over and brush a hand over her soft, tanned cheek.

“You don’t have to dethide now. I could wait forever,” you say softly. She reaches up and places her hand over yours. And then she grabs you and kisses you, her soft, moist lips pushing against your chapped, dry ones. 

And then she releases you and grabs and kisses Eridan.

“I love you both! I don’t want to choose!”

“Fef, ya gotta. Me an Sol a been waitin ages to do this, ya gotta give us a straight answer.”

“FF, take your time. Ignore Prince Athhole, if he can’t wait, then he can’t wait.”

“ _Both_ of you shut up!!! I need to think,” she says. “I’ll tell you tomorrow, ok?”

She grins at both of you and then runs off.

-

You wake up in the morning and find a bunch of flowers on your doorstep with a small note reading:

Y---ES!!!!!! 

You smile and punch the air. Best day of your fucking life.


	11. Jade/Karkat, Falling in Love Again ~ Eagle Eye Cherry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and more jadekat! drop requests and stuff in the comments if you want a ship or songfic, or send me an ask on my tumblr: http://particularcriticular.tumblr.com/

You stare at your ceiling. This can’t be happening, not again, not after Terezi and Dave and John... It hurts; you’re going to get hurt again. You don’t want to do this, but…

The way she smiled at you. She _laughed_ at your jokes, giggled when you did something silly, fixed you when you were broken. You had fallen in love again, even after you swore off it. 

Stupid emotions and the way they played with your head. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

You take a deep breath and call her.

“Harley?”

“Hi Karkat!”

“Ok, uh, listen. Do you want to go out sometime? Just for a movie or something…”

“Are you asking me on a date?”

“Yeah.”

“Then totally, yes!”

You smile. Hopefully she won’t leave you high and dry again. She starts babbling in your ear about the things you could do together and you reply. 

You’ll try this, one more time.


	12. Vriska, Karkat, John (IN THAT ORDER), Behind Blue Eyes ~ Limp Bizkit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wow ok this one sucks im sorry

You’re crying yourself to sleep again. You’re not a terrible person, you tell yourself, but you are and you know it. Everyone hates you, thinks you’re a bitch, and you smile and take it. You pretend to enjoy their hate, their spite, but you don’t. 

You don’t oh god, you’re alone and broken and no one knows and you want them to be there for you, but they aren’t because no one knows. 

Maybe it’s better that way.

-

You stare at the ceiling, blaming everyone you can think of for your pain and misery. You hate them all, and they hate you, so it’s all good.

You get up and punch the wall, because you need to vent. You’re frustrated, because it isn’t their fault, but it’s easier to blame them, to hate them. They can’t know what you’re actually feeling. If they did know… Well, that would be it for you. You wouldn’t be able to struggle through another day.

So you glare and blame everyone for your problems. 

Maybe it’s better that way.

-

You’re surprised by how ok everyone is with this. It’s not ok, nothing is ok, your family is dead, you’re a bunch of kids living through a nightmare most adults probably couldn’t face. 

Everyone tells you don’t worry, but how can you possibly _not?_ Everything is going to shit, you’re all going to die. It’s inevitable. Just because you survived this long doesn’t mean you’re going to survive forever. 

You hide your emotions and put on a smile.

One day you’re going to break.

Maybe it’s better that way.


	13. Dave/Jade, Boys Don't Cry ~ The Cure

You open your mouth, try to say something, but she shakes her head.

“No, Dave, I don’t want to do this anymore!” Jade yells. She huffs. “You keep flirting with other girls, you only take me out when _you_ want to go out, and when we’re with our friends you don’t even pay attention to me!”

“Jade, come on,” you say, giving a fake breathy laugh. “It only happened once.”

“Once times a trillion, maybe! You’re not even taking me seriously even now!” she turns around and storms to the door, grabbing her jacket. 

You catch her arm before she leaves. “Jade please.”

She shakes you off and keeps walking. Down the stairs because the elevator is still broken. Down the stairs and out of your life. 

You shut the door and slump against it. What are you going to do? You pull out your phone and bring her number up. You start to text her, fingers hovering over the keys.

jade im sorry please come back i love you

You shake your head. She won’t believe that crap. You delete it all and stare at the ceiling, barely holding back tears.

The next day when your friends question you about it, you laugh and shrug it off.

Just keep laughing, you tell yourself.


	14. Gamzee/Karkat, Palest Sugar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and now for some good ol' unadulterated pale porn (not sex guys, come on). i will sink with this ship, they are just too cute

Your Karbro breaks into your room, quiet as all hell but you ain’t even sleeping. He sneaks over to where you’re lying in your coon, stripping down nice and quick before climbing in with you. He slowly, hesitantly wraps himself around you, tiny arms draping themselves around your neck, bare legs tangling with yours. He rests his head against your chest and you smile at the expression of content that settles on his face, happy and pale. You raise a sleepy hand to tangle in his hair and he glances up quickly.

 

“Fuck, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to wake you up,” he starts, words flowing out of his mouth like a flood. You rub your finger against the base of his horn and he shuts up, whatever words he had prepared dying into a purr. 

 

“I was just about to get my sleep on brother, you ain’t be needing to worry about nothing,” you tell him, carding your fingers through his hair.

 

“You weren’t sleeping?”

 

You nod. He sighs in relief and wraps himself around you, his arms clinging tightly around your neck. You press a kiss to the top of one of his nubby horns and he lets out a little whine that blends with his purr. He only ever makes those kinds of noises for you. Your little miracle brother.

 

You know you don’t deserve him and you know he thinks the same way, that he isn’t worthy of you. And whenever these thoughts be crossing over your time, the two of you shoosh and pap them away. 

 

You hold him a little tighter against you and hear his breathing slow. Soon he’s letting soft little snores escape between his perfect lips. You smile and try to join him in sleep. It doesn’t come, with all the voices in your head debating whether to kill him or kiss him.

 

You kiss him, stroking his head softly. You force the negative side of your brain to shut up. It’s easier to do with Karkat wrapped around you, your palest star. You kiss him again. And you keep kissing him, pressing kisses all over his precious little head, over his tiny rounded horns, over his miracle-filled eyes. You don’t understand why you’re crying, why you’re suddenly so hysterical, and Karkat wakes up, shooshing you, his hand bouncing gently off your cheek. You let him wipe away your tears with a look of worry and concern on his face.

 

“Shoosh, you big idiot, what’s wrong?” he whispers, holding your head against it, your foreheads pressed against each other. You laugh.

 

“Nothing, my miracle brother,” you whisper, smiling at him. He gives you a concerned look.

 

“Why were you crying?” he asks, as if he wasn’t clear enough.

 

“Nothing to be all up and tearing your beautiful head about,” you tell him, pressing a quick kiss against his lips. 

 

“Ugh, _Gamzee_ ,” he pushes. You shake your head and press your lips against his. He huffs and kisses you back. He’s all hot, angles and curves. You run your hands over him, memorizing him, keeping every curve, every scar locked in your pan. He pulls back for air, watching your hands trace patterns over his stomach, covered by the smallest layer of fat. 

 

“Gamzee?”

 

“Yeah, miracle mine?”

 

He blushes and shoves your hands off him and curls into a ball. You grin and wrap your long lanky arms around him, holding him close. You press gentle kisses to his horns, your fingers massaging his grubscars. He tries to keep himself annoyed at you, but you let your fingers pinch at his grubscars slightly and he sighs and relaxes against you. 

 

“Will you stop it with the pet names?” he growls. You laugh against his throat, pressing kisses against his jawline.

 

“No can do, Karbro.”


	15. Jade: Lead a team of fucking idiots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jade's pissed, Karkat's whiny. Some kind of AU, I'm not even sure where I'm going with this. Again, if you want more, ask. Only fic I've ever been uncomfortable with continuing was the Psych Ward one.

Karkat tugs on his bonds when he speaks, almost like he’s trying to make hand gestures, but he can’t because his wrists are pinned behind him, around the chair you plunked his ass on.

“Look, why don’t you guys call a truce? I mean, you both want to kick the Condesce down, right? And then there’s that whole strength in numbers shit.” 

“Shut up,” you and Feferi say simultaneously. He growls at the two of you, shrugging.

“It was a fucking idea. Besides, you two are basically exactly alike,” he snarls, shrugging.

You and Feferi turn to glare at each other again.

“He's got a point,” Dave sighs, slumping against the cool grey wall next to Karkat. 

“Damn straight,” Karkat mutters, shooting Dave a thankful glance. 

John shrugs. “Jade, I don’t understand why you want a _fight_ so badly. I think Karkat’s onto something. And then when you’re done doing whatever to the Condesce, you can fight each other.”

Rose nods. “It's a very strategic plan of action, if anything.” Sollux raises his eyebrows at her.

You shift uncomfortably. 

“I'll agree to the terms if you return my assassfin,” Feferi states, clearly trying to be the bigger person.

“How will I know you aren’t just going to set him on us again? No, we’ll keep him until the Condesce is dead.”

“Uh, guys, how is that supposed to work? If we’re working together, then I’ll be killing shit for both of you, or something,” Karkat asks, looking slightly dejected. Fuck him, he can talk to and hug it out with his friends when they’re all six feet under.

“You'll stay with us,” you say, nodding. “I’m not taking any chances.”

“Whale, on that line, how are we so shore you won’t krill him and then us while you’re still holding him captive?”

You growl. “I don’t have people to spare, Peixes. Keep your fucking hands away from my group.”

“Jade,” Rose says, arms wrapped loosely around herself. “I don’t mind staying with them until we get to the Mothership.”

“Rose, no, we can’t-“

“Great idea! You can stay with Kanaya,” Feferi says, grinning. Rose’s cheeks go a little red and you start hating this plan even more. 

“Fine. We’ll discuss tactics tomorrow,” you huff, crossing your arms. Feferi smiles, Dave unties Karkat, and the sixteen of you split, Rose walking off between Kanaya and Sollux, Karkat slouched as far away from you as possible, as close to Dave as possible.

What a fucking wimp. 

 


	16. tumblr prompt fic: davekat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the prompt was: what about a 'hey sorry to bother you but i'm trying to convince my friends i'm a sex god so can you please write a fake number on this napkin for me real quick' au

You have no idea what the fuck you’re doing here. Your friends dragged you over to this bar in the middle of fuck-all nowhere, so you decided the only reasonable course of action was to stay as sober as possible.

You’re still pretty sure someone spiked your drink though. _Goddamnit_.

“Karkat, sweetheart, if you don’t find someone to take home with you,” Kanaya slurs, collapsing into the barstool next to you. You glare at her. “I’m bringing you home,” she finishes, grinning at the blush blossoming on your face. She places a sloppy kiss on your cheek, stumbling off to prey on some other helpless fuck. 

Ugh.

You turn back to your coke, sipping at it through the straw. The bartender raises his eyebrows and gestures with his shoulders at Kanaya, who is currently sitting on some blondes lap, making out with her. From your angle, it looks like she's eating the other girl’s face off. 

You glare at the bartender in reply to his unspoken question. He shrugs and walks off to tend to another patron. You’re about to turn back to your drink again when someone slides into the seat next to you. _Again._

You glare at the guy who slid in next to you. He looks like a total sleazebag, leaning across the counter and smirking at you in a way you might’ve found attractive if this was a movie, and you were playing some ridiculously hot chick.

However, this is real life, and the smirk just makes you want to punch him in the face.

“Hey, I’m sorry about bothering you,” he says. You scoff. “Ok, I’m not, but still. I’m trying to convince my friends I’m a sex god, so can you please write a fake number on this napkin for me real quick?”

You huff. “Fine. Do you have a pen?”

He passes you one, glancing over his shoulder at a group of people standing near the toilets. They were all laughing and pointing over at the two of you. You scribble the first 11 number sequence you can think of down, then pass the bright red pen and the napkin to him.

“Name's Dave, by the way,” he says, giving you a small, relieved smile. Ok, that smile you can find attractive.

“Karkat,” you reply. 

“Daaaave,” some drunk girl with short hair and red glasses walks by, attempting to drag him away by his arm. 

“Well, duty calls,” he says, getting up. He doesn’t budge just yet. “See you round, Kitkat.”

You don’t say anything about the nickname. You just raise your hand and make the gesture for ‘call me.’ He snorts and blows you a kiss, turning around and leaving. 

Kanaya sits down on your lap. “You two should’ve _kissed,_ ” she whines, grabbing your shoulders and shaking you roughly. 

You shrug.

“I gave him your number, in case he actually tries calling the number,” you tell her, grinning. She gasps, squealing and bouncing up and down in your lap.

He does actually call the number. Multiple times.

You give him your real number a few days later. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I GOT WATTPAD. all my original stuff is on there, so you don't have to drag yourself through it on here, and can instead look upon it unhindered by the davekat floating at the edges. my username is fukmylyf


	17. Karkat: Hate these fat sacks on your chest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Davekat pale smut

You’ve always hated your body. Before your first molt, you were tiny, skinny, curvy. Now, after your molt, you’re still tiny and mostly skinny, but your chest. Your chest is massive.

Most trolls would envy your chest, but it just draws too much attention and you don’t appreciate the looks. Kanaya was very forward about it, propositioning you in front of everyone the one time you lost your bandages and couldn’t bind them, and you still can’t quite look her in the eye. Terezi used to grope them all the time, and it made you feel gross, but you didn’t know how to tell her so you didn’t.

Fuck your fucking rumblespheres, is what you’re getting at, basically. 

Ever since the humans arrived, you’ve doubled your efforts to hide them. Before, a little bit of bandaging and a large sweater was enough. Now, you have to tape down your rumblespheres and bandage them and avoid purring at all costs, or the vibrations will shake the tape loose and release the massive sacks on your chest life cursed you with, because even that little bit of bandage won’t be able to stop them.  

Did you mention hating your rumblespheres?

Dave has gotten closer and closer to you. With how pale he acts towards you, sometimes it’s ridiculously hard to keep yourself from purring. He doesn’t need to know what you’re packing under your sweaters. 

“Kitkat, come on, you’re burning up,” he grumbles, poking at you. You huff and glare. Why you agreed to “sleepover” in his block is beyond you. It’s almost as if you’re _trying_ to slip up.

“I'm not taking my sweater off if it was the deciding point for winning this stupid game,” you growl, kicking the blankets off of your bare feet.

You can’t really remember when you took your jeans off, but you’re pretty sure it was just before you climbed into bed with Dave. 

“Karks, no, you’ll get a heat stroke or something, that would suck,” Dave whines, tugging at your long sleeves. You pull your arms away, wrapping your arms around yourself, even if it’s just conserving heat that you already have too much of.

“I don’t care. I’m not taking off my sweater,” you say, turning away from him to face the wall. He huffs and lies down next to you, one arm carelessly draped over your waist. 

Shit.

_Shit_.

That’s a really nice, really pale gesture, and damn how susceptible you are to cuddles. You have to fight your vocal chords to keep from purring, and then Dave pulls himself against you, curling up around you, his chin resting on top of your head, his bare chest flush against your clothed back. You’re tempted to know what his skin feels like against yours. 

“Dave, I’m already burning up, and you’re just making it worse,” you growl instead. Your barely contained purr is making your voice more gravelly than usual. Dave notices.

“What's up with you, bro? I can feel your chest buzzing,” he mumbles, and holy crap, his voice is vibrating against your horns. You whimper, feeling the tape around your chest loosen as your purr grows slightly in strength. 

“Woah, Karks, is your chest growing?” he asks, sitting up and glancing down at you. You jump out of bed and run into the attached ablution block. 

Shit, shit, shit, shit, _shit._  

You look up at your reflection to see your rumblespheres causing major bulges in your sweater. Fuck. There’s no way you’re going to be able to hide this. 

“Hey Kitkat, you ok?” Dave asks, knocking on the ablution trap door. Because you’re a pathetic waste of space, you let loose a little whimper or groan or something, you feel like you’re going to puke, you’re clutching the sink like it’s the only thing keeping you from falling. 

“Karkat? I’m coming in,” Dave says, and he’s fucking _worried_ , and you feel godawful for worrying him, but you still throw yourself against the door and whisper a small “no.” 

“Karks, c’mon, what’s up?” 

“Nothing is fucking _up_ , Strider, just leave me alone,” you hiss. He doesn’t deserve to be treated like shit. You know that. You’re still scared. You don’t want him to find out, you don’t think you could deal with losing another friend because of a stupid biological feature you can’t do anything about. 

“Karkat Vantas, as your best bro, I’m fucking commanding you to open this door,” Dave says, pushing against the door. You don’t budge at all. 

“Fuck off, Dave,” you whisper. He slumps down on the other side of the door. 

“I'm not fucking off anywhere without you, bro,” he states. You hear his head thunk against the metal door. Fuck. 

“What happened?” he asks. It’s a perfectly acceptable question. You’re still an idiot though.

“Nothing.”

“Vantas-“

“Nothing fucking happened, bulgelick, leave me alone.”

Dave shuts up. He doesn’t leave.

“Look, Karkat, you can tell me anything, you know that, right?” Dave says, breaking the silence. You gnaw on your bottom lip, tasting blood. 

“Don't freak out, and don’t stare,” you manage to say. You hear the sounds of shuffling feet, and you stand up as well. The door opens. Dave doesn’t even look at you, he just wraps his arms around you and holds you. You hug him back. 

“Your chest is massive, bro,” Dave says, and you whack his chin with the top of your horns. The yellow tips aren’t sensitive, which is good because even if there’s only a small bit of them, you can still attack people during cuddles or other close-range things. 

Dave, however, knows all of your moves _and_ weaknesses, so he dodges and presses a kiss against the bottom of your horn. You purr and slump against him. He drags you over to the bed and throws you onto it, lying down beside you. 

“Are you gonna take your sweater off now?” he murmurs, breath tickling your ears. You sigh, sitting up and pulling your sweater off. Dave gives you a very suggestive once over, red eyes barely glancing at your rumblespheres and that makes you feel strangely relieved, because finally _someone_ is taking you for more than a pair of rumblespheres that you never wanted in the first place. He drags you down next to him, skin against skin, the only bit of cloth on either of you separating your groins, which is good, because you’re ridiculously pale for him and you would never want to lose that. 

Neither does he, apparently. His arm tightens around you, you’re perfectly flush against him, and the bare skin of his chest against your back is ridiculously calming. It reminds you of home, of those nights where Crabdad would hold you close and tight and keep you safe from whatever horrorterrors were infecting your mind at the time, or those few days together on the meteor where everyone was together and happy and sane. It’s also something so completely new, and alien, and him, and you want to lie here with him forever. 

 


End file.
